Cervical Waves

Dear Womb Goddess,


I went on sacred blood hiatus from my yoni egg practice.. but with this beautiful new moon..womb lovin devotional and all the love vibrations of valentines and recent miracles.. .. I am feeling love all over me.. the truth is I am so supported.. and so are you.

Today, I did my yoni egg practice for 2 hours… I melted into my feminine being in ways.. I have never imagined this morning.. brought a deeper connection to my lover.. and so much nurture to my mounds.. as i felt my sensual energy rise.. my pelvic bowl filled up with big rainbow array of gerberana flowers.. my right breast began to ignite.. turning into a ball of fire.. in deep passion as I breathed deeply into my feminine space.. my jade egg rising.. my left breast taking on her own energy.. a spirit of gold.. honey flowing.. mmmmm.. the sweetness of Osun..  my soul love came to mind more…I began to chant his name..

meditating and sensual breathing… my breast rise and fall..on his name enabling my soul spirit  to rise and stand in her true form .. my spirit greatness .. a greatness that joins us.. I breathe in all of him.. his love.. his power.. his truth of me.. and allowed myself to receive more of his love.. his power.. his covering in my feminine spirit as I rise in my own .. rainbow..breathing and pulling my jade egg upwards.. further and further into my succulent canal with every sensual movement….until she massaged my cervix and remained… here’s where the deep pleasure and healing began…

I peak and my body awakene in gentle innocence.. my inner goddess Oshun rise to greet me in cervical orgasm.. I receive messaging of deep satisfying whole body arousal.. not only vibrating as a big juicy pussy..  underneath there was..  a marrying my cervix  and soul .. I feel her for the fist time in a way that I have never had.. my beautiful cervix.. she is the gatekeeper to the cosmology that is me.. the vast darkness of all of creation, my womb… I met her today in waves of orgasm and tears of  release…you see after the loss of our baby boy.. she blames herself. She blames herself for he natural structure, for having to receive medical support to carry not just one baby but too.. for giving into soon and having the first be a preemie.. she blames herself for the loss of our baby.  I ask her to search for evidence of this truth…and she couldn’t.. we couldn’t.  The truth is.. it is not her fault. it is not my fault. there are way to many influences that allowed this to occur for reasons beyond this post.. and so after being immersed in pleasure.. I wept. she wept.. and we began to see truth..  Iya Oshun came for me to see more of me.. for me to invoke.. my strength and what I know to be true about this very real occurence.. I gave birth after carrying for nearly 5 months to a whole beautiful 1 lb baby boy.. who loves me and I love him.. I felt him wrapped on my back as I lied there after sequences of cobra pose.. he got my back.. he is pure love and he always will be.. he was fully received by my Egun.

I am blessed and strengthened.. more than yesterday.. I pulled myself and rested on my hip bones.. yoni to earth…and felt my jade egg in my cervix so much so.. I pressed my fingers at my bikini line.. the place where I’ve been cut two times to bring my babies in the world.. to my surpise she was really up in my cervix as I meditated with my fingers there.. I began to feel my innonence.. i journey to myself.. sitting under the Christmas tree.. in  a car seat with my mom.. I am her present.. her birthday and holy day.. I am a gift to the world.. I became more innocence.. less blame.. less guilt.. less shame.. it was not my fault.. it really wasn’t.. I sat there in this pose for a spell.. stretched my hands to the heavens.. opened my heart. .with arms out wide to receive the worlds pureness.. and my own.. hugging myself.. deeply in relief…body hmming in love..cervix resting in contentment..one single butterfly flutter arounds me… oh this is how peace feels.. loves peace.. I am blessed in cervical waves.


Blessed is this day.. filled with waves of cervical pleasure.. release of grief and promises of contentment



Turning over a New Leaf, Holding Space for Me, Fall 2016

I wanted to begin this blog post as a Dear Me letter, when I realized that this sounds way to trending for where my heart is at the moment. This right here is a Heart Moment. Today is September 22, 2016 the first full day of Autumn. I awakened this morning in the vibe of “I’m turning over a New Leaf” but really, I’m uncertain of what that looks like, and more importantly what that will feel like for me. See, as of now, I have recently resigned from my day position as a Child Protective Services Social Worker, you know the “baby snatchers”. Yes, this position was taught me what it really means to see Trauma. I’m certain I’m dealing with post-secondary, no doubt. So, I’m here, and available to offer full time spiritual services for which I LOVE. It makes my heart sing. I realize that as much as I am a Spiritualist, and I use this term loosely because my abilities can be categorized, that’s not important right now. I’m essentially a space holder for folks to do their own healing, I take my abilities along for the ride. And so this leads me to this space, this morning, feeling like, I have turned over a New Leaf. No, this is not about my service to the world but my service to myself. So, I thought to myself what is the most cathartic and creative space for me to work this out, my blog. This is suppose to be a space of sharing, I’ve used this space to share mostly my teachings, videos and a like. BUT I have decided to turn over a New Leaf and use this space for processing my emotions , feeling my life and dare I say HOLD SPACE FOR MYSELF. Okay, so I’m trying, to figure this out. What exactly does it mean to HOLD SPACE FOR MYSELF ?!

So, as I’m here burning my neroli and cedar incense sitting in the nude with my laptop, fresh out the shower with a cup of my favorite Womb Tonic, Red raspberry leaf tea with a dollop of orange blossom honey. I realize, perhaps this is what holding space for myself feels like. Perhaps, holding space for myself is moments like this, when my family is still at rest and I can freely sit here in the nude on my laptop with tea.  Of course there is more to this, i’m sure, I’m a Sagittarius and my thoughts, feelings and emotions run deep as the ocean floor.  So, I’ll take time to ponder this more.  My question,  What does it really mean to hold space for Me?  This will be a living document indeed. I’ll do this list style. anewleaf

Holding space for myself feels like…

  1. The stillness in  between movement, its the little pocket of spaces that are not filled with to do lists of mental clutter. Its the space where I can just Be. Like right now sipping this tea, as I hear my family rise and get busy. The birds are singing and there is a ray of light coming in the window. I’m good.
  2. Its the ability to understand and Act on the most healing things I can do for myself is  in grace, humility and justice, knowing that I will not get it right 100 % of the time, but by Goddess I have to do something ! Hence, I’m here writing in the nude. Ha! I’m talking about waving the flame of my Creativity this season. Writing is everything, and truly has been one of the most healing tools that I have had. You see, I am an extrovert, I love the mirror effect, to bounce thoughts of of people, to master mind, even my deepest thoughts. I pretty much have a hard time doing this with myself. So writing helps me to be with ME and to feel safe doing it. I dunno, it something about witnessing yourself through sacred text, you know.  An audience of One.
  3. Forgiveness, for the past week or so I’ve been feeling a deep sense of Humility, this is a Work in progress, well not so much Work but mindfulness that Everything has Value and that when I am in a space of humility I can really feel my life, I’m at ease. I can see more clearly and I’m at peace with myself and my surroundings. Humility is a teacher and its teaching me the value of forgiveness. Not just for myself, although this one of the most Important spaces to hold for myself, even daily. This is an Intention here, yes Hoʻoponopono Style. Hoʻoponopono (hoo-pono-pono) is an ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness. (The Google Gods). I realized this morning that I can heal myself with this ritual or practice, but also my family members and ancestors. That by using this practice I can relieve myself of A lot of Shit. I mean hurts and pains, while Accepting that I came here to learn these lessons to, not all of this is my Ancestors shit !  Yea, there is a great sense of Maturity with this, because I totally get it, there are things that has happened to me, and choices that I have made as a result of my DNA, the scientist call this : Epigenetics. Basically its the shit you and your ancient do or don’t do that influence your DNA, your code. It’s the script. I’m scripted for brilliance and some dark shit to. And its the dark shit that I’m ready to Leggo ! So this reminds me that Autumn is the season of inner healing, silence and reaping of course, I’ve taken inventory of my harvest and I’ve done some pretty awesome things this year so far, I’ve hit many of my New Year Intentions for the year and I’ve survived the death of my Mother and Grandma-n-Law. Its an ongoing healing, but hey with Ancestral Consciousness and being a Medium, it makes life easier for me and my family. They right here in this house withe me. I hope to apply this technique this season for myself and my ancestors. After all, Forgiveness is the next logical step after Acceptance.
  4. Slowing my Ass Down !  Yes, okay my feet hurt, I mean seriously physically hurt. I’ve been running for quite some time, pushing, healing, making moves, expanding, now its time to Chill and really reap my harvest. I am here freely, sipping on tea, writing on my lap top. My husband is showering and my baby girl is at the table with a bowl of cereal. My Life is good, I can slow the pace down and feel it. I am safe to do so. I have All that I need. I am here. Later, I’ll do what I love. Ancestral and Womb Divination. but, no talks about service. This is about Holding Space for Me. Next.
  5. Grace, Grace and more Grace. ‘Nuff said here. I think about the Divine Feminine Way of things and we move through ebb and flow, cycles of nature, intuition  you know the stuff of the red tent and the Moon. We are just fuckin Magikal. but its really the Grace that makes us difference from all other creation, well at least Men lol. So I implore more Grace in my Life. I will explore what this means and feels like for me, I can say one thing, its certainly not pushing ! I move with ease and grace in all that I do. I live the feminine way. I have all that I need, why push, I’ll receive it, and move at the pace I am divined to move. No More Pushing I Proclaim ! lol  Yes, this is a healing sweet spot for Me.
  6. Breath.  Wow, so I come to the conclusion that I have been so busy with my aspirations to save the World ! Okay I know I am not the only one in Super Woman Recovery ! But yes, I have been all about that life, that I have not been breathing, okay it will help to move my body more and chill out, but for God sake !  I have shit to do and Create ! Who has time to Breathe.  I think about an old Weight Watchers Coach I had many moons ago, before I started my Intuitive Eating Movement and actually trusting myself to eat how I chose. Period. That’s another point tho. She use to say ” Well, how is that workin for ya ?”  When someone would share on grievance of things they should or shouldn’t be doing for their highest good. ” How’s that workin for ya ?!” Really, I need and deserve to fuckin  Breathe.  Oh sacred Air is so Powerful. So Clearing. I want more of that in my Life. And for fresh Autumn breeze, the crispiness of it All, my Goddess ! I Shall BREATHE AGAIN ! lol but seriously, my Lungs need rejuvenation.  So I’m loosely considering working out again. No pressure but Air, yes it’s necessary for Life.
  7. Being One with my Body. Being One with the Earth. Mama Earth. So, for most of my Life I have been disconnected form my body, hey, you’ve seen me. I got some weight on my bones.  You know its safety issues. But I realize this morning, that hey I’ve done a lot of the deep shit. (taking inventory of my sacred healing)  I’m feel empowered and safe here. This place is beginning to feel like HOME. So as I did my grounding ritual, for which I plan to do more of. I got some Root Chakra healing to do. 😉 In all humility, I just wanna feel Her. I just wanna be Her. To take in All that Mother Earth has to offer, I feel her Energy a few days ago in Ritual, she cares for me and desires for me to feel at Home here. I’m safe here, now its a matter of reconciling this with All of me. But yes, it starts with Humility and reverence for all that she has offered me and Man. That is human kind, you know. So I begin this journey to really feel Her presence in deep gratitude and humility. I’m looking to discover ways to do this and this season, is Perfect, plus it my favorite season  ! I LOOOOOVE AUTUMN !


Well, it appears that I’m done. I don’t have anything else to say about my list. I will say this, I feel that I have held space for myself in this space. I witness myself first and foremost and I had fun doing this, so I will continue to explore these themes in my life and what it feels like in Action by God and Goddess Grace. I have a deep sense of Humility in this.  Hey, its Autumn, and I have turned over a New Leaf. I Live. Yes, I Really Live. Ase’.

Open Heart Living: Moments at a time, in between time. Peace.

Self-Love is not Selfish

Today, I woke up with the intention to take care of myself, to do some fabulous body movement, drink a green smoothie and concentrate on how I feel physically.  I am currently postpartum 5 months via 2nd c-section. I realize today, that I have some building up to do !! and I am definitely up for the challenge. But, anywho, as I came down from my workout, and enjoyed a nice long shower, I had what I call a


“Heart Moment” this is when I have a nice heart-to-heart with myself lol


Well, I realized, one sure thing today, if I don’t care for myself, I can’t care for others.. I know, I have heard and said this a million times before, “we as women must take care of ourselves, if we want to care for others”…


But today was different, I had an internal dialogue about feeling selfish.  I know, that I have proclaimed that I must take care of myself first, and if I don’t, I won’t have it for anyone else !! I have shouted this to the heavens.. but deep, deep, deep down I felt scared and helpless. I felt like if I really took care of myself, I would be taking from those that depend on me.. I would be selfish.  After all, they depended on me.  I pour and pour and they take and take, and it’s been okay for so long for so many women. I seen this in my mother, my grandmother, this is how it is suppose to be right ????


Today, I had this feeling, this inclination that said  “No, I don’t think this is right for me anymore”   This inclination has blossomed into a new belief..  our beliefs shape our thoughts and our thoughts shape our reality.




I decided that taking care of myself is Love, it’s real Love.  It’s the same Love that I give to others, it’s the same energy that I allows me to pour out on the world.  Why not use some of this for myself ? Why not show myself a ‘lil love today, by moving my body and drinking a smoothie? Those are little things that will improve my quality of life, right ?


Consequently, it will reflect in those around me. By caring for myself, I will better care for others, because I will be coming from a place of totality. A place where there is no lack.  Wholeness..


The truth is we have been trained, to care for others, we are given toy kitchen sets and baby dolls as gifts at very young ages.  This is the reality that we as a society has constructed for our gender. And that’s okay, I love to care for those around me… Giving of myself makes my heart sing with so much glee..  It’s my passion.. It’s all things beautiful and so incredibly feminine.




It can be an ugly thing, when we are pouring out so much, that we become dry. Leading to bitterness and regret and fear. I know that I experience fear all the time, fear of the unknown, fear of my relationships, fear of the idea of really loving myself…

Fear can be gripping and immobilizing, but what I learned today, was a




My heart spoke and I am running with it !!!


Yes, loving myself through self-care and developing rituals is Right !! It’s not selfish at all !! and

By loving myself in this way…the fear of everything !! Has decreased…


I understand this, when there is an ongoing flow of Love—- Fear has to cease, feelings of Peace and Joy and Safety Rises..


Honestly feel freakin Awesome!!!


Wow, all I did was moved my bones and had a green smoothie, now imagine, how we can feel  by making this a habit, without the guilt.  We can change the world !



Amazing, just a ‘lil love dust sprinkled on ME, with intention.. allowed me to open my heart to the possibility of caring for myself without guilt and fear.


Indeed Love begets Love and this is not selfish.



The Mantra for the day:  Self-Love is not Selfish.

How To Release Your Weight

I arrived at this mind space today, that taking care of my body, eating healthy, moving my body, requires love, not discipline, not a program, non of those things matters if my underlying intention is not set in love. So many times I lost weight out of self-hate, more recently I lost weight in order to conceive our baby girl, that was my driving factor, now that she is here, I looked for a reason, I said okay for my family, okay for my health, okay so I can feel sexy again. Okay so my outside can match my inside. But the truth was this.

It’s because I finally Love Myself Enough.

That’s it.

It doesn’t need to be anymore than that.

I chose to practice self- love.

Through making food choices that make my body feel loved and hmmm, through moving my body in a way that feels good and by practicing self-care rituals, because I choose to send loving energy to my body. Nothing else really makes sense to me. It’s all in Love. So every moment, of the day, I have a choice, We have a choice to choose Love.

What is weighing you down ?

Release it, through Self-Love.


Take 5 !


       Hey there !  I am so incredibly in love with the power of breathe.  I say this because it’s so true, think about it, taking deep breathes allows us to deal with all kinds of moments in our lives.  We take a deep breathe before we embark on anything, a job interview, applying for a loan, to gather ourselves before we speak, we breathe in order to face things head on.  Our Breathe is powerful and can be used for big things and small.. Let’s make a habit of connecting with our breathe, not just before we do something, but because it allows us to connect with our spirit. Really, when we take deep breathes, we connect with that part of us that gives peace and reassurance, it lightens us and we are able to release negative emotions and get a clearer mind.  So, here’s what I have been doing and it’s working, mindfully breathing has allowed me to tune into my body and be more peaceful on a continual basis. And get’s what !  This is a form of meditation. Now, our body gives us the go signal  when we need more oxygen so we will naturally take deeper breathes, but most of us are living through shallow breathes.. Practicing deep breathing in shorter periods of time is most beneficial for our health and well being. Likewise, this provides relaxation, which leads to a balance life. Remember, when we do things that feel good and are good for us, we are practicing self-love.  Deep breathing is a wonderful form of self-care.  And we know if we are feeling good, and exuding positive vibes, we attract goodness to us !

When ya feel the tension in your body, Take 5 !

When ya face difficulty , Take 5    !

When ya ready to go off on your co-worker, Take 5 !

When ya kids getting on your nerve, Take 5 !

When ya ready to make big and small decisions, pause and Take 5 !

When you just need a ‘lil peace, Take 5 !

It works…

Here are some benefits of deep breathing:

1. Listening to your breathe is in fact a form of meditation.

2  Taking just 5 breathes, saves on time, most of us are super busy and may not be able to have drawn out meditation sessions, but we can Take 5 breathes anytime.

3. Practicing taking only 5 Breathes increases your  mindfulness and awareness this allows you to channel your inner peace.

4. We live in a chaotic world, full of distractions so taking just 5 breathes, slows us down a bit, so that we can re-focus and remind us that we are human.

5.  You can do this at anytime and anywhere !

So, I charge you, just take 5 breathes, that’s it, just 5, I know you can do it, make them deep !