Today, I woke up with the intention to take care of myself, to do some fabulous body movement, drink a green smoothie and concentrate on how I feel physically. I am currently postpartum 5 months via 2nd c-section. I realize today, that I have some building up to do !! and I am definitely up for the challenge. But, anywho, as I came down from my workout, and enjoyed a nice long shower, I had what I call a
“Heart Moment” this is when I have a nice heart-to-heart with myself lol
Well, I realized, one sure thing today, if I don’t care for myself, I can’t care for others.. I know, I have heard and said this a million times before, “we as women must take care of ourselves, if we want to care for others”…
But today was different, I had an internal dialogue about feeling selfish. I know, that I have proclaimed that I must take care of myself first, and if I don’t, I won’t have it for anyone else !! I have shouted this to the heavens.. but deep, deep, deep down I felt scared and helpless. I felt like if I really took care of myself, I would be taking from those that depend on me.. I would be selfish. After all, they depended on me. I pour and pour and they take and take, and it’s been okay for so long for so many women. I seen this in my mother, my grandmother, this is how it is suppose to be right ????
Today, I had this feeling, this inclination that said “No, I don’t think this is right for me anymore” This inclination has blossomed into a new belief.. our beliefs shape our thoughts and our thoughts shape our reality.
I decided that taking care of myself is Love, it’s real Love. It’s the same Love that I give to others, it’s the same energy that I allows me to pour out on the world. Why not use some of this for myself ? Why not show myself a ‘lil love today, by moving my body and drinking a smoothie? Those are little things that will improve my quality of life, right ?
Consequently, it will reflect in those around me. By caring for myself, I will better care for others, because I will be coming from a place of totality. A place where there is no lack. Wholeness..
The truth is we have been trained, to care for others, we are given toy kitchen sets and baby dolls as gifts at very young ages. This is the reality that we as a society has constructed for our gender. And that’s okay, I love to care for those around me… Giving of myself makes my heart sing with so much glee.. It’s my passion.. It’s all things beautiful and so incredibly feminine.
It can be an ugly thing, when we are pouring out so much, that we become dry. Leading to bitterness and regret and fear. I know that I experience fear all the time, fear of the unknown, fear of my relationships, fear of the idea of really loving myself…
Fear can be gripping and immobilizing, but what I learned today, was a
BREAK THROUGH !!!!
My heart spoke and I am running with it !!!
Yes, loving myself through self-care and developing rituals is Right !! It’s not selfish at all !! and
By loving myself in this way…the fear of everything !! Has decreased…
I understand this, when there is an ongoing flow of Love—- Fear has to cease, feelings of Peace and Joy and Safety Rises..
Honestly feel freakin Awesome!!!
Wow, all I did was moved my bones and had a green smoothie, now imagine, how we can feel by making this a habit, without the guilt. We can change the world !
Amazing, just a ‘lil love dust sprinkled on ME, with intention.. allowed me to open my heart to the possibility of caring for myself without guilt and fear.
Indeed Love begets Love and this is not selfish.
The Mantra for the day: Self-Love is not Selfish.